Don't count stars or you might stumble

Oh dear. Having started a rant like the one on Sunday, I suppose I ought to try and finish it somehow. I fear it is going to be a trilogy at least. It is funny how emotions interfere with logical thought and create a degree of uni-dimensional thought.

Recently I have immersed myself in the world of Anne Rice's 'Interview with a Vampire'. Again, coincidence in time, but the reading of it has been highly relevant to my thoughts. Happily I am cynical in my view on the existence of vampires: in my opinion pure fantasy. Narrow-minded perhaps, but I have limited belief in magical powers and immortality being bestowed during a simple blood transfusion. However, the concept is curious, and transposes to a big part of my life. You need to know that when a vampire is created by another vampire, a strong bond of attachment and 'love' is created between the two; all by blood exchange.

My muse has been on friendship. It is a very simple word which describes so much: I suspect that the philosophy of a word being a label for something that exists is quite appropriate. In the same way that the ancient greeks had 3 different words for love, there should be an argument for never-ending words of friendship. I love all my friends to a particular extent, but obviously that has severe variation; perhaps the problem of language is that for me to catergorise groups of type of friend/love is always going to be a compromise.

How does this relate to vampires I hear you ask? Well tonight I met someone for a drink and dinner who I have known in passing for years since university days, but never actually had a long conversation with him. These days I rarely have the tenacity or the patience to spend time getting to know new people, unless I judge them special and amazing. Having dinner this evening reminded me how exciting it is getting to know new minds and new thoughts. I have a close group of friends whose minds and souls I have gradually been getting to know, and whose being resonates so strongly with mine that I would go to the ends of the earth for them out of love. It occurred to me that the 'soul exchange', albeit a gradual process, was very similar to the way the creation of a vampire is described by Rice. Similarly a bond is created: in some cases, such a strong bond that it hurts.

Of course, friendship is totally evolutionary, and it is always wrong to think that it will continue in the way it is for more than a fleeting moment of joy. It is like a river that flows: a friendship must always move and go to new places - if it stops it either becomes stagnant or it is being stopped for the benefit/abuse of others, like a dam; it is only with settling down that the friendship will become consistent - in its estuary. However, I do believe that friendships that have reached the top level, the vampire level, have created plug sockets between two people that can easily be rewired instantly. It is healthy always to unplug, allow contacts to be cleaned and refreshed, and to reinvigorate the longevity of the friendship. In the past I have had one or two of these vampire level friendships be ended forcibly: it is the most horrid and wrenching feeling I have ever experienced apart from bereavement and grief. Thankfully one has now been reinstated, and I was delighted to see how easy it was, and how simply the distrust and suspicion built up evaporated. It is amazing to think how strong these bonds are. I love life because of it, and because of the people I'm bonded to - even if my emotion does get the better of logic at times.

The vampire analogy is of course flawed in that the creation of a vampire is an act of death and immortality, whereas the creation of friendship is an act of life which is limited by mortality. Thank goodness there is an evolution otherwise if friendships always continued getting better, forcible removing as an inevitable conclusion to life would destroy me.

The song 'I've got you under my skin' comes to my mind.

I think that's enough for one night. Emotion soon.....