Upon arrival at Tottenham Hale station, should you be travelling on victoria (as it were), there is a new announcement,
"This is Tottenham Hale. This station has step-free access".
Now Nicola lives in Brixton, and I live in Walthamstow; I have been to visit Nicola a number of times recently. As far as I'm aware, Tottenham Hale is the only station on the Victoria Line that has 'step-free access'. It made me wonder, if you need such access, whether you like having days travelling up and down the Victoria Line since the only place you can get on and off is Tottenham Hale. Of course it is society power. The only reason for providing 'step-free' access is because 0.01% of your customers require it, and to discriminate against them is punishable by derision, fines, legal action, and the News of the World. If you can provide an example of intention to bore millions of pounds worth of lift shafts into the ground of London, you can happily be excused in your committment to society. That is until the environmentalists get hold of you for all the pollution caused by your lorries, bore machines, and concrete manufacture. Obviously if I needed (or am going to need) the easy access(!) I would be delighted. It is simply power of the angry conviction.
I've realised lately that life is all too unashamedly about power and that the whole concept of power is a pot at the end of a very long rainbow.
What is one man's principle and conviction is another man's view of facism. What is one man's being is the way another man will judge their principles to be. I judge myself as trying to be very patient and tolerant of other peoples' principles; to learn how others exist and think is the most satisfying thing ever - the experience of humanity's differences. Power on the other hand is like a drug - you always want more.
So much of life is about a need to be in control. As children we play games in which one person is always in charge. We grow up (sort of), go to work, play games with others, become pawns in other peoples' games, and aim towards greater power. Why do we go to work? To earn money and stability through promotion and success, so that one day we can have freedom from hierarchy, power and control in retirement. It is all so screwed up.
Of course, our innocent games of Doctors and Nurses as young creative things, teach us much to be useful later in life. Personal life can often be about power games. I despise power games - they make me sick - people who use them on me, people use them to others, but worst of all when I find myself involved in one. You just can't get out of it can you - what is the other person thinking? What do they expect me to do? What should I do to show I'm not getting involved? I've thought about it a lot lately - the strategy of life, the laquered chess board that is the template for my life.
It used to amuse me predicting how people I knew well would react to situations and scenarios, and often I was right. Today, I'm tired of it: my king is in stalemate, and strategy holds no interest. I'm gradually learning, the more I reveal my soul to people, the more power it potentially gives them, and the less I can resist joining in. That is who I am however - I'm open and honest, and emotionally in tune, but I am tired of it. Perhaps this is a power game me writing this now? To me, I am writing what has been exercising me for a while without solution. I hate not having solution.
But I have restbite from this. Life has its total relaxations. After a very exhaustative Easter, I went with Rel to visit Claire and Rupert in Surrey. It has been a long time since I have been so relaxed. We have no power issues, we just drink and talk, and laugh, and eat, and philosophise. The colour and excitement to the chess board like a flower breaking through at random points.
Look at relaxed Jon.
Jon with Toby:
Jon pretending to be a bird:
.1.jpg)
Jon with Claire and Rupert and Rel on the front cover of our 12th century polyphony album:
No comments:
Post a Comment